So again, I had to take a break from writing! I was put on complete bed rest at 34weeks pregnant. And life for everyone in the family became much harder. We were trying to keep our sweet girl cooking until November, but she had other plans! We welcomed Ellie Adelina into the world on October 16,2013 at 10:46pm. Truly the most beautiful little girl ever! What a sweet blessing she is! It has been such a joy having her complete our family! Now that she’s here and things have finally settled down I’ll get back to posting more!
So it’s not hard to see that I’m a young mom and wife. Yep, I started a little early but I won’t apologize for it. Although I do not condone in kids having kids, I do believe in making the best out of a situation. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for the two joys of my life! When I found out that I was pregnant with my first son Alex, I was petrified! Who wouldn’t be with their first baby?! I was young, nervous, and scared out of my mind about how I was going to raise this little baby. That day, I changed! I was never the party type so that was never a problem, actually I was always pretty mature for my age. (I think it comes with being the first and oldest child in the family.) When you know that you are going to become a mom, your whole mindset changes, everything goes from being all about you to being all about that little baby you are growing inside! Everything becomes so exciting! That is until you start to show a baby bump and everywhere you go you have people staring at you and dirty looks, nasty snarls and comments. Then it’s not so exciting anymore. People are can be really cruel. It’s funny to hear all your friends saying, “Oh! I will babysit with you!, It’s going to be so fun!” And when your baby comes, all those friends are no where in sight! It’s pretty lonely when you have a baby and everyone around you is applying to colleges and moving on with their lives. I can see where in some people resentment and bitterness grows inside. I know that if I didn’t turn to God, I would probably be in the same predicament that other women find themselves in. God has been my rock through everything, from becoming a wife and a mom! I’ve learned a lot about becoming a wife and young mom. I’ve looked at my situation and knew that I had to do whatever it was that my child needed. He didn’t ask to come into this world and it wouldn’t be fair to him if I didn’t do everything possible to allow him a great life! When I got pregnant with my second little man, all that fear and worry came back! Thank God he gave me an amazing husband who provides so well and loves us so much! We went from family of 3 to family of 4 very quickly. My thoughts were, I’m married, I know what I’m doing, there’s no problem here. WRONG! I couldn’t believe even people in church were judging me! (AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ME!) I would come home and cry to my husband about how awful I felt. I loved my family so much, so why couldn’t people just see me as a great mom? Why did people have to automatically assumed that we lived in an apartment or that we probably lived in a low-income neighborhood and that we didn’t spend time with our kids. I didn’t understand. I remembering feeling so hurt one day, when I went to pick my oldest son up from Sunday School Class. I had my youngest in the car seat and I was gathering my rather rambunctious energetic 3-year-old, when one of the ladies had the audacity to say, ” Is there something going on at home, Alex isn’t like most of the 3 year olds, he doesn’t like to sit and listen to stories.” At that moment I was so taken back! How dare she say something like that to me!? I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs, “WHO ARE YOU!?” During that time I almost wanted people to come over to my home just to see that my husband does work hard, that we do provide everything for our kids, that we love them until they feel smothered! I’ve had to seek God to help heal my heart, forgive people and show me what to do. So overtime, I’ve learned that I have nothing that I need to prove to anyone! I know I love my kids, I know I’m a great mom. What matters most is that my kids know they are loved and that I teach them how to love God. So to all you young moms, don’t let harsh people bring you down! Don’t feel like you have to prove yourself to anyone. Focus on God, you and your family! That’s what is most important. If you are a young mom and need someone to talk to, I love to talk! 🙂